Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
