dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
