hotel room ftw
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
