then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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