Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize