i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
