but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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