Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.