Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night