I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He felt like a one man threesome
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
