I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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