New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
