A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
