I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize