thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
