So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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