He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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