whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
