Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
