Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
BRING THE BAGELS
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize