The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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