Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
