The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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