Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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