I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Girls should come with a carfax report
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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