if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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