I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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