I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
