Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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