Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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