Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said her name was "party"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
