ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
