Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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