but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
