Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
