the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You smell like stripper and shame
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
