I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
