You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
