all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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