so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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