she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He better not be in your backpack
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
