Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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