Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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