I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
