this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
