just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
