Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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