So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize