Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
