i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize