I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
