I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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