yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
