I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
