some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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