So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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