Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize