This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
