Umm I'm too high to move.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
