The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
