i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
