i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
